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    Tuesday, February 14th, 2006
    5:14 pm
    Article Graveyard


    So I was snooping around the ESA this weekend and what should I find on company president Doug Lowenstein’s desk but a Valentine’s Day card sitting atop a Dillard’s gift box. Want to know what the card said? Of course you do.

    Please accept this floor-length, terry cloth bathrobe as a token of my love. I know you’ll look great in it. Good luck at your E3 booth, babe.

    Awww, how sweet! You know, it’s easy to forget that the presidents, pundits, and politicians you read about on Game Politics are people too. Confident that I had dug up the next great story, I hopped a plane to Texas to see if Star Locke had sent his significant other anything significant for this February 14th. Indeed he did.

    It may not LOOK like much now......but under my proposed CANDY TAX......this here little box of CHOCOLATE would cost $35!

    Hey big spender! Looks like some fortunate gal is going to be thanking her lucky Star tonight!


    My travels then took me to the home of Paul Eibeler where I found the following message left on the Mrs.’s pillow.

    There’s nothing artificial about the way you inflate my stock.

    Yowzza! Now that’s hot! Who doesn’t love Valentine’s Day? Probably ESRB president Patricia Vance. Braving the chaos that is the U.S. postal service, I intercepted the following letter from a secret admirer/stalker.

    My dearest Patricia,

    I have some pertinent content to disclose that I know will pressure you into re-rating our relationship "Adults Only".

    Creepy. Speaking of which, last but not least, Jack Thompson. I admit I didn’t have to work very hard to uncover this one as Thompson himself emailed it to Game Politics and everyone else in his address book from Anderson Cooper to David Walsh. More press release than Valentine, it reads as follows:

    I’m going to have sex tonight. Trust me. Hooah! Jack Thompson

    AE: I’d like to thank GP’s massive ad revenue for making these weekend research trips possible. Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!

    -Andrew Eisen